Losing Time

My love for practicing guitar has been through the roof. I've always enjoyed practicing, but lately, I've been enthralled by the instrument. Have you ever lost yourself in a good book? Or lost track of time talking on the phone with someone you love? That's the way it's been with my guitar.

I can easily spend an hour working on a new lick or transcribing a solo. If I were a younger man with fewer responsibilities, I could spend the whole day practicing. Alas, I don't have that kind of time anymore! To make sure I cover everything I need to learn, I've been timing segments of my practice session…20 minutes to work on a new lick, 15 minutes on a new song, etc.

Lessons with my new guitar teacher are the reason for my renewed focus. Until now, I've been working on jazz guitar in a piecemeal sort of way. Now, I have a clear path being laid out for me. It's still up to me to walk the path, but it's incredibly motivating when you can suddenly see where you're going.

Fighting the Urge

In my last blog, I wrote that one of my goals is to weigh 185 pounds by the end of the year. Even after having to stop running due to a knee problem, I've been good about exercising. It's the diet the kills me. When I was training for half marathons, I could eat what I wanted without gaining weight. When I had to stop running, I still had a runner's appetite, and I kept on eating as if I were still burning through lots of calories.

My diet is back under control, but it's being sorely tested these first couple weeks of 2012. Like most dieters, my willpower is weakest at night. It gets even weaker after a gig or rehearsal. You can really work up an appetite performing. There's almost nothing that tastes better than Waffle House or Mexican food after a gig!

I've been rehearsing for a production of Xanadu. The next two weeks are filled with night after night of rehearsals and shows. There is an IHop, a Waffle House, Mexican restaurants, three grocery stores, and several convenience stores on the way home. The temptation to stop and grab a late night meal grows each night.

I know that I'm not alone in craving foods at night, and that, like me, some of you may also have unusual schedules and find yourself traveling in the evenings.

You may have your own strategies. The way I deal with it is to plan ahead. First of all, as I'm watching my diet, I plan my meals for the day. Rather than obsess about what I can't eat, I focus on what I'm going to eat. If I have an evening show, timing is a factor. I'll usually eat dinner about 60 minutes before a show (90 minutes if I'm singing). I'm still hungry after a show, but not as hungry as I would be if I had eaten dinner earlier.

I'm also diligent about choosing restaurants. I prefer to eat dinner near the theater to avoid rush hour traffic and the potential of being late (my biggest pet peeve). It's easy to blow your diet when you're eating out. I always choose a restaurant before I even leave, otherwise my stomach will steer me toward Mellow Mushroom Pizza or Five Guys. I'll usually go with Subway or someplace I can order soup and salad.

I steel myself before each rehearsal or show, knowing that someone usually bakes cookies or brings treats. Today I succumbed and accepted a cupcake (yum!). After the show, I do my best to resist the urge to stop for food. I'm not beating myself up over that cupcake, I resisted Waffle House on the way home, and I pedaled 60 minutes today, so I'd say it was a good day overall. Tomorrow is another day and another rehearsal, so I'll be doing this all again…minus the cupcake.

Sticking With It

Lately a few of my Facebook friends have posted status reports on their diet. I've read comments like, "Oh God, I start my diet tomorrow," "Man, this is gonna suck," and "I'm so hungry."

I absolutely guarantee their efforts are doomed to failure. If you want to start a successful weight loss campaign, you can't approach it with the idea that your diet is some sort of penance that will finally be over once you reach a magic number on the bathroom scale.

Unless you're a masochist, there's only so long you'll be able to take self-punishment. If you're already in the "poor me" mindset when you're following your diet, you'll feel even worse when you slip up. (Trust me, I've had plenty of experience in this area.) Then, one of two things will happen: Either you'll punish yourself further by redoubling your diet efforts, or you'll break and give up your diet. If you're doing dietary penance, you will eventually give up and gain weight again.

Also, don't think that the diet will be over once you've reached your magic weight, and that you can then start eating all the "good" food you've been denying yourself. This is another recipe for disaster. All that "good" food is what made you gain weight in the first place. Again, I have plenty of personal experience in this area.

Rather than punishing yourself with a fad diet that no human could possibly stick with, think of it as altering your eating habits. There is plenty of good food out there that also happens to be good for you. Gradually alter your eating habits, and by the time you've reached your goal, you won't even feel like you're on a diet. (And even though this blog entry is about diet, I must strongly state that it'll help you enormously if you add moderate exercise into the mix. You don't have to follow my path and become a born again long distance runner. Try 30 minutes of quick walking. If you don't think you have time for 30 minutes, then go for 10. It's better than nothing.)

I'm not qualified to tell you what to eat on your diet, but here's the simple approach that's helped me lose 122 pounds so far.

• Breakfast. Usually 1) cereal (non sugar) and skim milk, or 2) granola (3/4 cup), berries, and a big glob of plain non-fat yogurt, or 3) oatmeal (no sugar) with a little honey mixed in.
• Lunch (usually my biggest meal). Some kind of lean meat (usually chicken or fish) and a big pile of vegetables. Another common meal is a large salad (very light on the dressing).
• Dinner (usually a smaller meal, and usually early…around 5 p.m. In general, I try not to eat after 6). A repeat of breakfast or lunch, but with smaller portions unless it's a salad. As long as you go very light on the dressing and don't blanket it with cheese, you can generally eat as much salad as you want.
• If I eat out, I order a side salad instead of fries, and I've trained myself to look for grilled items and salads on the menu and ignore fried foods.

My approach to diet is very basic. There's nothing magic about it. I simply eat healthy foods in reasonable portions, and I do my best to stay away from sugars, fried foods, and processed foods. I do get hungry on my diet, but that's because I'm running a caloric deficit to lose weight. Although I get hungry, I never feel like I'm starving or denying myself. Once I've reached my target weight, I'll be comfortable sticking with this way of eating, and I'll be able to eat larger portions because I'll be maintaining weight instead of losing.

Rather than approaching your diet as a negative ("It sucks to be so hungry"), approach it as a positive ("I'm finally going to turn my health around."). A positive outlook and a simple eating plan will go a long way toward helping you stick with it and turn you into a successful weight loss story.

Break It Down

Sometimes I think about what I would do if I won the lottery. One of the first things I would do would be do give a lot of that money to family, a few select friends, and some favorite causes. After the big giveaway, I'd probably be left with a mere $50,000,000 or so. Oh, the places I would go. Oh, the guitars I would buy. The problem is that I don't play the lottery.

We all have dreams. If all you do is think about it, your dream will remain just a dream unless you do something about it. If you want to turn your dream into a reality, your first step is to turn it into a goal…not just a goal in your head, but a written out, established goal. Whatever your dream is, write it down and put it up somewhere where you can see it. Stick it on the fridge or tape it to your computer. This helps change your inner dialog from "wouldn't it be nice if…" to "I'm going to do this." Once you truly make the decision to turn dream into reality, you may feel a surge of energy, like the world just shifted around you.

After you've written down your main goal and really decided to go through with it, you have a lot of work to do. It may seem overwhelming, but whatever you want to achieve, it's doable if you break it into smaller chunks.

Nearly seven years ago I started playing guitar and decided to use the instrument as a vehicle for restarting a performance career after my trombone career was halted due to a lip injury. My first major goal, which has been met, was to reach a skill level that I considered to be entry level professional by 2010…not a world class player, but good enough to be making some money through guitar playing.

Once you've decided on your big goal, you're going to want to break it down into smaller bits so you're not overwhelmed by it all. You can break it into several mini-goals, which will all push you further toward your big goal. As you make progress, you may need to revise your mini-goals or create some new ones. The big goal remains the same, but most of the mini-goals are adjustable.

After deciding I wanted to reach a professional level of guitar playing, I wrote down the things a professional guitarist should know, including chord knowledge, familiarity with the fretboard, and lead playing. At first, my goal was to be a fancy fingerstyle folk guitarist, but I took a left turn when I discovered jazz guitar. The overarching goal of becoming a professional level musician remained the same, but I had to make some revisions to my mini-goals because of a change in musical direction. Now I also needed to learn improvisation, jazz comping, chord/melody style playing, arranging, and a whole new world of chords.

Each one of your mini-goals will have sub-goals. For example, learning jazz chords. There are many, many chords to learn if you want to be a jazz guitarist. There are at least five different places on the fretboard where you can play any given chord, and then you can use different voicings to change the texture of that chord. For example, off the top of my head, I can think of 9 ways to voice a basic C7 chord, and I can come up with more if you give me a little time. The point is that there are many chord forms to learn. If your goal is to have a solid grasp of jazz guitar harmony, you'll quickly discover that it's going to take a few years, so what you end up doing is learning them a few at a time and gradually discovering how to put them to practical use. Whatever your own mini-goals are, you can apply the same concept and work toward success a little bit at a time.

Eventually, your big goal gets broken down into a daily routine. If you stick to the plan, you're doing something that contributes to the overall goal every single day. For me, it's practicing guitar with a purpose every single day. Everything I practice moves me closer to becoming the guitarist I'm capable of becoming. Every song I learn increases my repertoire. Every scale I play improves my technique. Every solo guitar arrangement I write deepens my knowledge of the fretboard and my own capabilities. I improve bit by bit. The things that challenge me today will become old hat in another year or two.

My original goal was to reach a professional level of guitar playing. I've reached that goal, and I will continue to improve year by year. My next major goal is to take it to the next level and actually make a living with a guitar in my hands. I may develop a private teaching practice, audition for cruise gigs, or finally break through the barriers in the Atlanta scene. Very soon I'll be sitting down and drawing my roadmap for the next 5-10 years.

Do you have a dream? Do you want to make it a reality? Write it down and turn it into a goal. Figure out what steps you'll take to make it happen. Break those steps down further and further until you have bite sized chunks. Work every day to make it happen. You can start today. You're not going to win the lottery until you start playing.

Losing It #16: Century Mark

As of today, I've lost 100 pounds. I still have 23 to go before I hit my target weight, but it sure feels good to have made it this far. Some friends have expressed admiration that I've managed to do this alone. The truth is that this has been far from a solitary effort. True, I don't work with a personal trainer or dietician. I'm not a member of a gym, and I haven't joined Weight Watchers or any other weight loss support groups, but I haven't done this alone. In a way, my friends have been with me every step of the way. I've received nothing but support and encouragement from my friends in Atlanta as well as my online Facebook friends, most of whom I haven't even met in person. Regularly reporting my progress on Facebook helps keep me accountable, and the words of encouragement I've received have helped me stay motivated.

Sometimes there's nothing more annoying than the newly converted, but at the risk of sounding preachy, let me say this: If I can do it, you can do it. Aside from my four years in the Air Force, I've been overweight most of my adult life. I shudder to think at the total gallons of Ben and Jerry's I've eaten, and you could probably build a large, delicious hill with the chips and burgers I've consumed. In spite of all that, I've lost 100 pounds in six months, and I've progressed from a 30-minute walk to a regular 3.5 mile run. Recently I signed up for a half marathon. I can't even run 10 miles yet, but I guarantee I'll be able to run 13.1 miles in another 5 months.

So if this former couch potato can get off his large ass and turn it around, I know you can, too. You need to find your motivation, set your goals, plan your diet, and plan your exercise. Finally, find or create a support group. It could be a formal program, a personal trainer, a workout partner, or an informal support group like the one I created for myself on Facebook. I couldn't have made it this far without my Facebook peeps!

It's not going to be easy, that's for sure, but it's doable. If there's any way I can help, please let me know. I'd be happy to be in your cheering section!

Losing It #13: Steady On

I've lost over 80 pounds so far. I started at 323. This morning I weighed 242, and I'm getting closer and closer to my goal of 200 pounds. This is a time that I have to be steady and stick with the plan. In the past, when I've reached this weight, for some reason I've often let it slide and started packing on the pounds again.

The last time I went on a weight loss campaign, I made it down to 235 before I gave it up. I didn't give up right away. It started slowly. I had started running again, and I told myself that I could handle a pint of Ben and Jerry's once a week. I justified the weekly indulgence by figuring that running would magically melt the extra calories. I stopped losing weight, but at least with the running, I wasn't gaining any weight. Then I caught a nasty cold and was too weak to run for about a week. Of course, I wasn't too weak to eat ice cream! After a week of non-exercise, I had lost momentum. Soon I stopped exercising altogether and started eating more junk: ice cream, chips, and fast food. A year later, I was even heavier than before.

I also experienced some frustration with my running a couple years ago. I could feel myself getting faster. I began to think that I could recapture my glory days and maybe even come out of nowhere in local races to place in my age group. One morning, as I was feeling particularly fast, two chatting high school girls blew by me like I was standing still. Talk about a reality check! Instead of dealing with the fact that I wasn't nearly as fast as I use to be, I started to lose the motivation to run.

This time around, I don't plan on making the same mistakes.

• I know that ice cream is my Achilles heel. As much as I love the stuff, not a bit of ice cream has passed my lips for nearly half a year. So I'm running again and sticking to good eating habits.
• I've gotten over the fact that I don't run fast anymore. I'm content to enjoy the exercise, and I'm focused on running lightly and easily. If a flock of gossiping high school girls passes me on the road, good for them.
• If I get sick and can't run for a while, that's okay. I can walk. If it turns out that years of obesity have left my knees in a sorry state, I can walk. I enjoy walking almost as much as running.

The biggest mistake I made the last time I tried to lose weight was trying to do it all by myself. Aside from gigs and rehearsals, I'm a hermit. I live alone, and I prefer to do most of my activities alone. I exercise alone, too. Although I spend a lot of time by myself, that doesn't mean I have to be alone in my weight loss campaign. This time I have a lot of people behind me. I've posted fitness updates regularly on Facebook and in this blog, and in return I've received lots of support. Not only that, but many of my friends have started losing weight, too. Even though we're not dieting and exercising together in person, I feel like we're together in spirit.

This is the point where I typically hit the wall, but I'm determined not to let that happen again. I just need to be aware of my tendencies and to know that, recluse that I am, I get by a little help from my friends.

Motivation: Have To vs Want To

Many people express their admiration for my ability to stay focused and motivated. My weight loss is going great. My new jazz guitar career is beginning to show promise. I was able to go from a total beginner to an entry level pro guitarist in five years. I built a music engraving business from nothing. While I'm experiencing success in my projects, what people don't see is the even greater number of projects that I've tried and failed.

There's no logical reason why I fail at some projects and succeed at others. Several years ago I began writing a book about music notation, but I fizzled out. The book project wasn't any more challenging than developing guitar skills, so why did I succeed at becoming a good guitarist when I failed at writing the book? Motivation.

I believe true motivation comes from "want to" rather than "have to."

Let's take weight loss as an example. I've tried to lose weight before. Sometimes I succeeded. More often I failed. Of course I should lose weight for my health and well being, but that's not much of a motivator for me. It's not enough that I should lose weight for my own good. This time it's different because I truly want to lose weight. I want to lose weight for my health, because I have so many interesting projects going on that I want to stay alive as long as possible to see them through. I want to lose weight for my career, because many people will hire me based on looks just as much as musicianship. I want to lose weight for sheer vanity, so I can be more attractive to the ladies! Health, career, and vanity – these are much more compelling reasons than "it's for your own good."

My fledgling career as a jazz guitarist and singer is another good example. If I'd wanted to play it safe, I could have remained a full time music engraver. It was good money. It was steady. It was safe. It was boring. When I started learning guitar, though, I felt like I was on fire. I knew immediately that I wanted to resurrect a career as a performer. From day one, I was totally focused on learning to play the guitar, and when I discovered the endless wonder and puzzle of jazz guitar, my path was set. I remain focused on being the best guitarist I can be. Every day I practice scales and patterns that others might consider boring, but I actually enjoy and want to play my daily exercises, because I know that they're making me a better player.

Whatever path you choose, I hope it's something that excites you and motivates you. There are plenty of things in life that you have to do, but what makes it worthwhile is when you find something you want to do.