Roller Coaster Club

I have dropped twenty pounds since the beginning of the year. Like many of us, I am in the Roller Coaster Club. I'll have my weight under control, and then a few months later, my pants are too tight. I'll lose weight again, get cocky, and then let go of the habits that helped me stay smaller.

About a year ago, maybe longer, I was feeling pretty good about my weight. It wasn't as low as it was when I had lost 120 pounds running and dieting, but I was getting there. Then something switched in my brain. I don't even know what triggered it, but I started eating unhealthy foods again. I probably snuck a pint of Ben and Jerry's or something, and it all went downhill from there. You can live in denial for only so long, but your pants don't lie. By early December, there were three shirts and one pair of dress pants in my closet that still fit. I realized that I could either start buying bigger clothes, or I could make some changes so that I could fit into my smaller pants again.

For me, the most painful part of any new weight loss endeavor is dusting off the bathroom scale and weighing myself. Oddly enough, once I've recorded that first weigh-in, I immediately feel better. I don't feel good about the number, but the mystery and suspense are gone. Once I step on the scale, I have a clear goal, and I can proceed.

Fortunately, I don't have to drop 120 pounds this time, but I still have a lot of weight to shed. Once I set my mind to it, I'm really good at losing weight – I've done it so often! I've been losing the pounds pretty steadily.

How am I dropping weight? There's no magic involved. It's simply a matter of diet and exercise. Even when I'm heavy, I enjoy exercising. I wouldn't say I love my stationary bike as much as I loved running, but it's pleasant enough to break a sweat while watching Netflix or reading a book.

With my exercise routine already in place, I just needed to tighten up my diet. I'm not on an overly strict diet. All I'm doing is keeping track what I eat. I write down each meal and snack in a pocket sized notebook. That's really about it. I don't count calories. I'm not on any particular diet plan. I just write down what I eat, I eat smaller portions, and I make better food choices in general. For example, instead of a sandwich, I'll order a wrap. Instead of taking home a pint of Ben and Jerry's, I'll buy a box of fruit juice popsicles.

In the past, I've become lax when I've reached my goal weight. I figure that I'm skinny and exercising a lot, so I can eat what I want. Wrong! This was wrong in my 20s, and it's certainly wrong as I begin to approach 50 and my metabolism slows.

The reason I had problems maintaining weight in the past was that I didn't have an end game. This time is different. I already know what I'm going to do. When I get to that point, here's the plan for maintaining:

• Continue to exercise
• Continue recording my meals and snacks
• Continue weighing in every 2-3 days
• Gradually begin adding more calories to my diet until I find an equilibrium

If I can follow those simple steps, I think I'll finally be able to quit the Roller Coaster Club.

Getting Close

As of this morning, I'm pleased to announce that I've lost 50 pounds and have 16 to go. There's no magic formula for this, no special diet, no pills. It's simply a matter of math and consistency.

The math part is that if you expend more calories than you're consuming, you will lose weight. This is where the MyFitnessPal app has been so useful. I highly recommend it for anyone who wants a simple, straightforward way to keep track of their eating habits. You start off by inputting your age, your general activity level, how much you weigh, how much you want to weigh, and how much weight you'd like to lose every week. (It caps off at 2 pounds per week, and you can also set it for weight maintenance or weight gain.) It starts off each new day by letting you know how many calories you can consume. You add your meals and snacks as you go, and it also factors in your exercise. Once I've factored in an hour of cranking away on the stationary bike, it's satisfying to see 700 more calories added to my daily intake!

For me, using MyFitnessPal isn't so much about the exact numbers as it is about monitoring my own eating habits. As long as I'm eating healthy foods and staying in the ballpark, I'm losing weight.

Consistency is king! MyFitnessPal helps a lot with my food consumption, but I also have to make sure that I exercise on a regular basis. I hop on my stationary bike 6 times a week. I usually pedal an hour a day (yay for Netflix), but if I don't have the time, I'll settle for as few as 30 minutes. As long as I'm doing something 6 days a week, I'm making progress. In addition to the cardio, I'm also doing some basic strength training every other day…nothing fancy…crunches, planks, push-ups, curls, and lateral dumbbell raises. My legs get plenty of workout on the bike. I've added strength training partly out of vanity and partly for its extra calorie burning effects. Vanity…When I've melted away my excess fat, I'd like to have a few manly muscles to show for it. Calorie burning…Having extra muscle boosts your metabolism. Your body requires extra calories to maintain muscle mass, and simply carrying around more muscle is a big help in maintaining a healthy body weight.

As I get closer to my target weight, I'm gradually slowing down the weight loss. I've already begun to allow a few more calories each day. When I have about 10 more pounds to go, I'll allow a few more. I'm trying to come in for a soft landing. I've lost significant amounts of weight before, but one mistake I made was that once I hit my target weight, I convinced myself that I could eat whatever I wanted since I was exercising so much. Wrong! This time, I'm gradually increasing my food intake so that, by the time I've reached my goal, I'll already be consuming my calories at a normal, sustainable level. There won't be any sudden switch from weight loss to maintenance mode. That's the plan, anyway. As I've stated before, I want this to be the LAST time I ever have to lose such a significant amount of weight. After this go round, I want to keep it on an even keel.

Halfway Home

As of this morning, I've lost 33 pounds, and I'm halfway to my goal of weighing 200 or less. Using higher math skills, you can probably figure out what I weigh right now.

This has been a relatively painless process. Steady effort has been the key. I've been exercising regularly, but not intensely. I'm not training for a half-marathon or trying to push my limits. I simply hop on the stationary bike every morning and pedal at a moderate rate for 60 minutes. When I'm tempted to start pushing myself by increasing the resistance, I remind myself that I'm going to be doing this again tomorrow, and the next day, and the next, and the next. I'm exercising at a level that I can maintain over a long period of time.

The same goes with my diet. No crash diets for me. Using the MyFitnessPal app, I keep track of my eating habits. There are some days when I'm hungry, but it's usually a craving rather than true hunger. Using the app to monitor my caloric intake is helping me learn the difference between wanting food and needing food. Just as with the exercise, my diet is a steady effort, and it's sustainable, because I'm still eating foods that I like.

I've always been good at losing weight in the past, but I've been terrible at maintaining a healthy weight once I've reached my goal. This time, it feels different. This time, once I reach my weight, I'll keep exercising steadily without pushing too hard, and I'll continue to monitor my eating habits with MyFitnessPal. Above all, this has to be the last time I lose this much weight! I have better things to worry about.

The Plan

As most of my friends can tell you, I'm an obsessive maker and checker-offer of lists. I'm using this minor obsession to help stay motivated and on track with my weight loss.

This is my overall plan, in list form, of course.

• I started at 266 pounds. It's not the 324 I weighed a few years ago, but it's not exactly dainty, either. As a matter of fact, this is the exactly what I weighed when I began losing pounds to qualify for the Air Force. My goal is to weigh 190-200 pounds, which is where my weight hovered in my Air Force days.
• The first phase was to simply ride the stationary bike and keep track of my calories with MyFitnessPal…best app ever for monitoring exercise and food intake. The stationary bike and MyFitnessPal will be the two most important parts of this whole process.
• After hitting 240, add crunches. (This is where I am right now. I just hit 239. I began adding crunches yesterday, and I sure can feel it.)
• After hitting 230, add planks. Not only is the plank a good overall exercise, but it will prepare my upper body for the next phase.
• After hitting 220, add pushups and curls. Also, somewhere around the 220 mark, I should be able to wear almost all the shirts in my closet again. Once I've reached this point, I have two giant white shirts and a giant black shirt that I can't wait to get rid of. There will be no going back!
• After hitting 210, add pull-ups. I'll be happy if I can do just one pull-up for starters!
• After hitting 200, slow down the weight loss. I'm currently losing 2-3 pounds a week. At 200 pounds, I'll want to ease up and lose 1 pound a week as I transition from losing weight to maintaining weight. I don't know what my weight will be, but it should eventually settle to somewhere around 195.
• Maintenance. For me, this will be the most challenging part. I will continue to exercise regularly, and I can't get lax with my eating habits. I'll be able to indulge more often than I do now, but it'll be imperative that I continue to monitor my eating habits. That's where I have always slacked off. Fortunately, the MyFitnessPal app has different settings…weight loss, weight gain, and maintenance. I'll just set it up to maintain my weight and continue to monitor myself.

Why do this in phases? Why not start off doing all of these exercises at once? Because I want to build up gradually. If I try to do everything at once, I know from past experience that I'll overdo it, become frustrated, and then stop. If I gradually add these exercises, it won't be such a shock, and it'll feel more like a routine than self torture.

This might seem way too analytical for some, but it works for me. It's helpful to have goals and milestones to keep me going.

Slow and Unsteady

Weight loss at my age can be a challenge. When I was younger, losing weight was pretty easy. Once I put my mind to it, I could count on weighing less every couple days. Now, at the ripe old age of almost 47, my body fights to hold onto every ounce of fat.

Every day, I complete the same workout, and I eat nearly the same foods all the time. With a steady, predictable routine, you'd think that I would enjoy steady, predictable weight loss, but you would be wrong! For example, I had been stuck on the same weight for a week, and then suddenly I dropped 2.5 pounds between yesterday and today. This has been my new norm since getting back on the weight control bandwagon.

It's easy to feel frustrated when the bathroom scale is stuck on the same number for days and days. During these periods, I have to remind myself that this is all a numbers game. As long as I am careful with my diet and relentless with my exercise, I'll get rid of the weight that I want to lose – just not as steadily as I would like!

Last Time

I've lost track of the number of times I've lost a significant amount of weight, only to regain. This is probably the fifth time. I'm not sure. I almost got it right last time, but I got lazy and stopped keeping track of my eating habits. I kept telling myself that I could eat what I want because I was still exercising regularly. If only!

The good news is that I'm nowhere near the 320+ pounds that I weighed the last time. Not only is this good because I have fewer pounds to lose than I did a couple years ago, but it's also good because I've caught myself in time. In the past, every time I've regained weight, I've ended up weighing even more than before. Not this time.

I'm good at fooling myself into believing that I'm really not gaining that much weight, especially when I stop stepping on the scale every morning. A few months ago, I realized that there are some clothes in the closet that I don't wear anymore. My belt was on its last notch, and even then, I was testing its limit. Still, I didn't quite let myself believe I had gained too much weight until I saw a recent picture of myself. Finally, I bit the bullet and stepped on the scale. While I knew I was going to be heavy, I was actually heartened that I hadn't gained a much as I thought. It was still a lot of weight to gain, but I was afraid I was going to be heavier.

And no, I'm not going to give out that number. That's between my scale and me.

So I'm back on track. I've lost 14 pounds since I started keeping track of my weight again. I'm awesome at losing weight! The trick is to maintain it when I reach my goal. This really, really, REALLY has to be the last time I go on a major weight loss campaign. Last time, I stopped weighing myself and keeping track of my eating habits, figuring that exercise alone would keep my weight down. This time, the plan will be to monitor myself for the rest of my days. Last time, last time…

Stone Mountain Walk

It's been a while since I've written about any of my workouts. There was almost always something interesting to write about when I was running. I've been spending a lot of time on a stationary bike, watching movies and Star Trek episodes to pass the time, which makes it a little difficult to find anything interesting to report.

This morning, I took a long walk at Stone Mountain Park. It's hard to believe I've lived in Atlanta for nearly 10 years and haven't visited the park. Shame on me! There are several paid attractions that don't hold any interest for me. You can visit the website for that. I was just there for the trails. My new neighborhood isn't the best place for walking. I figured that if I'm going to have to drive to a good walking area, it might as well be a place with bathrooms. My friend, Greg Luffey, is an ultra-runner living in New Mexico. He loves to run in wild places. I'm not sure you could pay him enough to live in a city. Still, if you forced him to live in Atlanta, I suspect he would enjoy running up, down, and all around Stone Mountain Park.

What a great place to walk! According to the website, Stone Mountain Park has 15 miles of trails, so I guess I walked about 1/3 of the trails that were available. Also, the bike path I used to walk from downtown Decatur connects with Stone Mountain. If I ever feel like going for an extremely long walk, I can add a detour to Decatur…8 miles to downtown Decatur and 8 miles back!

My 4.7 mile trek was enough for today. I just recovered from a cold, so I'm not at full strength, and the trail I chose would have challenged me even if I was at 100%. I began walking the sidewalk around the perimeter. I walked about a mile before I found the Cherokee Trail. It started off easy enough, but the next thing I knew, I was climbing over Stone Mountain, scrambling over granite. What was originally a clearly marked path was now a mountain goat trail. The only thing that kept me pointed in the right direction was a series of white hashmarks that highlighted the trail. My walking pace was a respectable 15:30 per mile while I was walking the easy trails. I sometimes slowed to 25:00 per mile as I was picking my way across the granite. The pace was slow, but my heart sure was pumping. I've read that trail runners are wise to ignore their pace and just keep track of the total time spent running. Now I see why. When I looked at my Garmin and saw that my 25:00 pace, I could only laugh.

Stone Mountain as I saw it this morning.

What goes up must come down. My pace quickened once I was heading downhill, but my quads were shaky. I'm used to walking up and down steep hills, but scrambling is a different story. Eventually, I came off the granite face and was back onto a more traditional trail. Ah! I passed through the main feature of Stone Mountain, a gigantic, mountain sized carving of Confederate generals that is the central part of what as billed as the world's longest running laser light show. I'll have to come back some time and catch the show out of morbid curiosity.

Stone Mountain, all lit up.

After passing the South's answer to Mount Rushmore, I was back on the Cherokee Trail, and it wasn't long before I found myself back on the perimeter sidewalk. I didn't realize how much cooler it was under the trees until I was back on the sunny sidewalk. My original plan was to follow the Cherokee Trail and then take the Walk Up Trail – one mile straight up and back down. My legs were still wobbly from scrambling over the granite face, so I decided to pack it in. I could have hiked up the mountain fairly easily at the start of my walk, but not at the end. My challenge will be to build up enough strength to take the same walk I took today, and then add the Walk Up Trail at the end. Another masochistic challenge would be to climb up and down multiple times…probably start with two summits, and then add more as I get stronger.

I bought an annual parking pass. It was a no brainer. It costs $10 to park for a single day, and $35 for the entire year. I plan on hitting Stone Mountain Park at least once a week. It'll give me a break from the stationary bike and give me something to look forward to. I'm already planning my next route.

To Run or Not to Run

Around this time last year, I ran my first half marathon. About a month after the race, I developed an overuse knee injury. It was a classic case of too much, too soon. I had to stop running for a while. I walked for a couple months, tried running again, found that my knee still hurt, and then had to stop walking, too. I stopped exercising and starting bingeing again. By the time the holidays were over, I had gained 58 pounds. I've currently lost 33 of those 58 pounds, and I'm well on my way to reaching a healthy weight again. I've been pedaling a stationary bike, and lately I've been walking 2-3 times per week.

The main thing that triggered my weight gain (or my main excuse, at least) was being unable to run. I had become obsessed with running, and no other exercise would do. When I had to stop, it felt like the bottom dropped out. Rather than turn to another exercise, something flipped in my brain. Throughout most of my life, I've turned to food when stressed or depressed, and that's exactly what I did after I injured myself.

I still plan to run again, but I'm going to wait until I've reached my target weight before giving it another shot. This will allow extra time for my knee to recover, and running at a healthy weight will reduce stress on my joints. Rather than run 4-5 times a week like before, I plan on running 3 times a week, cycling 3 times a week, and resting one day. When I run, I'll mix walking and running.

There's a social website called Daily Mile, which was created for fitness buffs. It provides useful tools for keeping track of your workouts, and just like other social websites, you can find friends for mutual support. Unlike most of my Facebook friends, my friends on Daily Mile are actually interested in my workouts.

I'm a little disturbed by the number of runners on Daily Mile who are pushing through injuries. I see myself in them…amateur runners who are doing too much, too soon. While I understand their desire to run, I wish some of them would take it easy, build their distance more gradually, avoid obsessing about their pace, and cross train. I want to stress that there's nothing wrong with running, but if you overdo it, you're going to pay the price. I still have aspirations to run a marathon one day, and possibly even an ultramarathon. I'm one of those oddballs who loves propelling himself for long distances, but I have finally accepted the fact that this is something that I have to build up gradually.

If, despite all my precautions, I continue to have difficulty with my knee, then I'm prepared to discontinue running. I'll bike, walk, and work out with weights. Although I truly love running, my main goal is to be as healthy as I can be. If that means never running another step, I'll be okay with that…as long as I can fit into my skinny jeans!

Steady On

So far, my weight "re-loss" is going well. I'm losing pounds steadily, and I'm on track to meet my weight goal in June. That won't be the end of the process. As I've discovered the hard way, maintaining weight can be more challenging than losing it in the first place. I'll deal with that issue when the time comes.

For the most part, my weight loss this time around has been very steady. Except for the first week, when I lost 9 pounds of mostly water, I've been losing a steady 3 pounds a week.

Last week, despite a careful diet and plenty of exercise, my body stubbornly held on to the same weight for 5 days. Even though logic dictated that I was doing everything right, I was still frustrated. For a while, I considered cutting back on food, but that would have been a mistake. I'm already very careful about both the quantity and quality of my food, and I'm certain that eating any less could begin to pose a health risk.

Instead of freaking out about the situation, I simply continued doing what I've been doing all along: pedaling my stationary bike, walking, and eating healthy foods. On the sixth day, I suddenly dropped three pounds, which was a relief. There's no way I dropped three pounds of fat in a day. My guess is that I ate too much sodium earlier in the week and was retaining water. Whatever the cause was, I'm once again dropping pounds at a steadier pace.

If you are fighting your own battle of the bulge, there will be times when you doubt yourself or your routine. Sometimes the weight will seem to melt off. Other times, it'll feel like you're fighting for every ounce. When this happens, it's tempting to start changing things – eating too little or exercising too much. Remember, you've been successfully losing weight with whatever plan you're following. Just because the scale doesn't budge for a few days doesn't mean that you're suddenly off track. You may be retaining water. You may have gained some muscle. If you keep doing what you've been doing, chances are that you'll soon be back to your "losing weighs."

I'm glad I didn't change anything based on a few unsatisfying weigh-ins. I just kept reminding myself that this is a numbers game. If I burn more calories than I consume, the weight comes off. I stuck with my routine, kept eating the same foods, and eventually began shedding pounds again. So for now, it's steady on, and I'll continue to keep my head the next time there's a bump in the road.

The Saga Continues

Around this time last year, I was nearing my weight loss goal. I was running and following a strict but sensible diet. Around March of last year, I finally met my goal and weighed under 200 pounds. Not longer after that, I developed an overuse injury from running.

Over the past several months, I've gained a lot weight again. It happened in increments.

Long distance running is a big calorie burner, and I was able to eat quite a bit and still lose weight. Once I stopped running, I began to lose my focus, but not my appetite. Despite walking and pedaling quite a bit, I gained some weight. Late last summer, I was hired as the music director at Northwest Unitarian Universalist Congregation. It suddenly seemed like I didn't have time to exercise. The job was only a 10 hour per week commitment, but that's almost the exact amount of time I had been spending exercising. In what was an already busy schedule, my exercise time was directly replaced with the music director job.

Over Thanksgiving, I decided to straighten out my priorities, start exercising again, and tighten up my diet. After some false starts, I began hitting my stride around Christmas time. I didn't have the nerve to step on the scale until last Sunday. I thought that I had maybe gained 30 pounds, so I was bracing myself for somewhere around 230. Imagine my shock when the scale read 258. Shit!

That was the jolt I needed. You can fool yourself into thinking you don't look too bad, but there's no fooling the scale. It will never lie.

I'm motivated first and foremost by the bathroom scale. Also, several people have told me that I helped motivate them to lose weight, and I don't want to disappoint them. Finally, I bought a lot of new clothes when I hit 200 pounds, and I refuse to spend money on a "big boy" wardrobe when that money could be better spent on guitars and gear!

So, the weight loss saga continues. I'm down 9 pounds since my last weigh-in and back on track.

Fighting the Urge

In my last blog, I wrote that one of my goals is to weigh 185 pounds by the end of the year. Even after having to stop running due to a knee problem, I've been good about exercising. It's the diet the kills me. When I was training for half marathons, I could eat what I wanted without gaining weight. When I had to stop running, I still had a runner's appetite, and I kept on eating as if I were still burning through lots of calories.

My diet is back under control, but it's being sorely tested these first couple weeks of 2012. Like most dieters, my willpower is weakest at night. It gets even weaker after a gig or rehearsal. You can really work up an appetite performing. There's almost nothing that tastes better than Waffle House or Mexican food after a gig!

I've been rehearsing for a production of Xanadu. The next two weeks are filled with night after night of rehearsals and shows. There is an IHop, a Waffle House, Mexican restaurants, three grocery stores, and several convenience stores on the way home. The temptation to stop and grab a late night meal grows each night.

I know that I'm not alone in craving foods at night, and that, like me, some of you may also have unusual schedules and find yourself traveling in the evenings.

You may have your own strategies. The way I deal with it is to plan ahead. First of all, as I'm watching my diet, I plan my meals for the day. Rather than obsess about what I can't eat, I focus on what I'm going to eat. If I have an evening show, timing is a factor. I'll usually eat dinner about 60 minutes before a show (90 minutes if I'm singing). I'm still hungry after a show, but not as hungry as I would be if I had eaten dinner earlier.

I'm also diligent about choosing restaurants. I prefer to eat dinner near the theater to avoid rush hour traffic and the potential of being late (my biggest pet peeve). It's easy to blow your diet when you're eating out. I always choose a restaurant before I even leave, otherwise my stomach will steer me toward Mellow Mushroom Pizza or Five Guys. I'll usually go with Subway or someplace I can order soup and salad.

I steel myself before each rehearsal or show, knowing that someone usually bakes cookies or brings treats. Today I succumbed and accepted a cupcake (yum!). After the show, I do my best to resist the urge to stop for food. I'm not beating myself up over that cupcake, I resisted Waffle House on the way home, and I pedaled 60 minutes today, so I'd say it was a good day overall. Tomorrow is another day and another rehearsal, so I'll be doing this all again…minus the cupcake.

New Year, New Goals

At the end of each year, I like to sit down and make a list of goals for the new year. I have a list of overall goals that I'd like to meet by 2016, which will mark my 10th year of playing guitar. Each of those goals is broken up into smaller yearly goals.

I didn't do as well at meeting my goals in 2011 as I would have liked. Circumstances changed that made it nearly impossible to meet a long list of goals that was already challenging. Fortunately, these were positive developments. One was becoming the regular guitarist for Act3 Productions, and the other was becoming Director of Music at Northwest Unitarian Universalist Congregation.

Some of the goals I did not meet included recruiting 20 guitar students, memorizing 50 vocals, recording several backing tracks, and arranging several guitar solos. I found that I simply didn't have the time or energy to meet those goals. The music director job is only a quarter time position, but when I added it to an already busy schedule, my time was stretched pretty thin. It looks like I'll be playing 3-4 musicals a year for Act3 Productions. At my current skill level, it takes a while to learn an entire guitar book for these musicals. In the couple months before a musical, I'll often spend 2-3 hours a day learning my part, so I don't have those 2-3 hours to spend arranging or recording. On the other hand, my guitar playing continues to improve, partially as a result of learning those musicals. I'm finding that it's gradually taking less and less time to prepare for musicals, which gradually allows for more and more time to focus on my own repertoire.

As far as guitar students, I enjoy teaching, but my schedule is filled with music engraving, the church job, practicing, and gigging. If I hadn't landed the church job, I would almost certainly have my 20 students, but I'm not advertising as a teacher these days. If a student approaches me about lessons, I'll teach, but for now, I'm not actively recruiting. If the church job went away, or if music engraving suddenly dried up, I would start looking for students again.

On the plus side, I met my weight goal, I've improved at solo improv without accompaniment, I've written a few arrangements (just not as many as planned), and I've finally become comfortable standing and playing guitar. In fact, now I prefer standing over sitting, unless it's a background music gig.

I'm not making excuses for not meeting some goals. It's just that life happens, things change, and you have to adapt.

In past years, my goals have been centered around guitar or fitness. I'm really enjoying the music director job at NWUUC, which factors into my 2012 goals. Here's my list of goals for 2012:

1. Improve my fingerstyle playing. I started out mainly as a fingerstyle player. Lately, I've been playing mostly with a pick, but I've been watching a lot of Tommy Emmanuel and Martin Taylor videos, and I'd like to get start getting more creative with my fingerstyle playing.
2. Weigh 185 pounds. I've gained weight over the holidays, and I'm not very happy with that. I've been good about exercising, but it's time to get my diet back on track. At least I don't have to lose over 100 pounds this time.
3. Attend a choral conducting workshop. I feel that I'm doing well as a choir director, but my formal training was almost exclusively for band and orchestra. I've spent the first few months of the job getting my bearings, but to be a better music director, I feel it's important to start participating in workshops and clinics.
4. Start piano lessons. Last year, when I almost won a job at another church, I considered taking piano lessons. When I didn't get the job, I dropped the idea. Now that I do have a music director job, I would like to start developing some piano skills.
5. Find one more steady music engraving client. A few years ago, I dropped a few clients so I would have more time to focus on guitar. Unfortunately, I went overboard. One more steady client won't affect my overall schedule that much, and I'll be in a better financial position. As a guitarist, I'm still a little fish in a very big sea. As a music engraver, I'm a shark! In my ideal world, I would spend all my time practicing and gigging while money rains down from the sky. For now, most of my money will still be coming in from music engraving, and I'm fine with that.

Balancing Act

Last month I blogged about relapsing back to my old dietary ways, snuggling up at night with some chips and my two best friends, Ben and Jerry. After some recent struggle, I feel like I'm getting my weight under control again.

These last couple months have been about regaining balance. This past summer, I was exercising a lot, and I mean a lot! Pedaling the stationary bike for up to two hours some days, and walking 10-12 miles, I had it in my head that I would try ultra-marathoning at some point. (Frankly, this still sounds like a cool idea.) The problem was that when I took a church music director job, I didn't have time for this amount of exercise when you also factor in music engraving, practicing, and hustling up gigs.

Suddenly, I felt like I didn't have time to exercise at all. The music director job is only a 10 hour per week commitment, but that's about how much time I was exercising each week. In many respects, I'm an all or nothing kind of guy. Sometimes that plays to my advantage, but this time it got me in trouble. I just stopped exercising, thinking somewhere in my all or nothing brain that if I couldn't exercise for hours at a time, I couldn't exercise at all.

This was wrong, of course, and I've finally found my balance. I may not have time to plop on the stationary bike and pedal for two hours, but I have 30-40 minutes. If I have time to mess around on Facebook or write a blog, I have time to exercise. I can't eat as much as I did when I was working out 90-120 minutes at a time, which is a crying shame, so I've had to regain my balance there, too. It was hard to give up the Ben and Jerry's (again!), but I feel a lot better now that all the sugar is out of my system.

At this point, my newest "skinny clothes" are too tight, but give me a couple months and I'll be wearing them in style again!

Plan C

A couple weeks ago, I wrote about a run to test my leg and see if my overuse injury had healed. Based on that run, I had two plans. Plan A assumed that everything was hunky dory, I felt spectacular, and I could get back to running right away. Plan B assumed that the injury was still painful, and that I would have to give myself a year before I was confident enough to start running again.

Well, now I have a Plan C. I felt okay for about a mile of running/walking, but my left knee started tweaking after that. While this was disappointing, it certainly was better than a few months ago, when I had to turn around and limp home after a quarter mile. Although my knee doesn't feel good enough for running, it feels much, much better than it did a few months ago. My new Plan C calls for more time off the feet to heal, but thankfully, not as long as a year. For now, I'll continue pedaling the stationary bike. In two more months, I'll take another test run/walk and see how it goes. I'll listen closely to my body, but I suspect that once I can manage a painless two mile run/walk, I'll be able to start running regularly again.

That brief run reminded me how much I love running. Although I feel it's best to stay off my feet for now, I'll be back on the road again someday. Pedaling the stationary bike isn't as exciting, but thanks to NetFlix, I'm certainly catching up on a lot of good movies and TV shows!

Reassessing

Often my blogs and Facebook posts celebrate victories and achievements large and small. Not this time. I've come to realize that my new running "career" may be finished. Last month I experienced sciatica pain while running and ended up limping home. I took the month off running and focused on walking, cycling, and yoga. This morning I took a very brief test run. After walking a mile as a warm-up, I alternated running and walking 50 yards at a time. It didn't take long before I began to feel the beginning of the sciatica flaring up again.

I suspect my leg problem is a combination of factors. I most certainly overtrained, running too much too soon. There's also the fact that I spent much of my adult life weighing 300+ pounds, which really messed with my knees. Even after losing the weight, I've had to be very careful with my knees. While I am certainly healthier overall than I was a year ago, years of unhealthy living have taken a toll on my body, and there's a limit to how much I can reverse the aging process.

If I could afford it, I would see a sports therapist to help sort out the problem, but I don't have the money. The good news is that my leg feels fine when I'm walking. I really love running, but I also enjoy walking. There's just something that feels good about moving forward on my own two feet. Maybe in another year, I'll give running another try, but not today.

It's not like I'm giving up a career as a professional runner. That was certainly never going to happen! Whatever my choice of exercise, the ultimate goal is health. I like walking, but I also like workouts that really get my heart pumping. My plan is to practice yoga and walk in the mornings, and then mix in some faster cycling 3-4 times a week to satisfy my urge to push the pace.

The Rest of Your Life

Tonight at the grocery store, the cashier misspoke. Handing me the receipt, she told me, "Enjoy the rest of your life." That is my intention.

Sometimes people look back at their high school or college glory days and say that was the best time of their life. Those were good days for me, and college in particular was the best time of my life…until now. I've had some unpleasant years, including my short and spectacularly bad career as a band director and my last year or so in the Air Force. (Nothing against the Air Force. I was just in a bad situation.) Don't even get me started on Cleveland.

These days, I'm finding that I spend my time mostly on things I like to do. I still enjoy music engraving, which is still my main source of income. I spend a lot of my days practicing guitar and rehearsing with a variety of groups, including a jazz combo, an originals band, and a big band. I'm slowly but steadily making inroads in the Atlanta music scene, and my gig calendar is full. My roster of private students is growing steadily as well, and I'm confident that by the end of the year, teaching will make up a respectable percentage of my income.

My weight and health issues are finally under control. I'm at a healthy weight, looking and feeling better than I have in years, and feeling more confident in general. I originally began running to accelerate my weight loss, but running has now become more than just a means to stay healthy. I love running nearly as much as I love music, and I look forward to my "running mornings."

I've made more friends in the past two years than I made in the previous ten years. Without even trying, I seem to have connected with the right people at the right time. Part of this is because I'm meeting more people as I play more gigs, but most of it is because I've removed some emotional barriers that I've always used to keep people at arm's length.

Even though my yearly income places me squarely in the "poor" category, I am rich in friends and music, and I plan on nurturing and growing this special kind of wealth as the years roll on. I had a good laugh at the cashier's slip of the tongue, but I became more grateful for what I have as I thought about her words. Whatever your situation is, whatever your passions are, I hope that you, too, will enjoy the rest of your life.

Balancing Act

I don't know if there is such a thing as a foodaholic, but if there is, then I am one. Believe it or not, losing 124 pounds was fairly easy. I'm extremely goal oriented. Once I've set my sights on achieving something, there's usually not much that can stop me. Now that I've met my goal and am at a healthy weight, I'm finding food to be a challenge again. About a week after reaching my target weight, I found myself bingeing, telling myself that since I'm doing so much distance running, I'll automatically keep the weight off. This is the kind of mindset that reversed my weight loss efforts the last time. I may be running a lot, but it's still a numbers game. No matter how much I run, if I consume more calories than I burn, I'm going to gain weight again. Having learned from past mistakes, I put a stop to the bingeing right away.

I can certainly consume more food than I've been able to eat in the past year, but not so much that my middle starts to expand again. I'm not counting every single calorie anymore, but I'm still mindful of the types of food I eat and my portion sizes. I don't bring junk food into the house, and my cupboard is potato chip free. My will is weakest at night, so I'm maintaining my "don't eat after 6:00" rule as often as practical. In general, if I eat four small meals per day of around 500 calories, I'm in pretty good shape.

While I may always be dealing with food issues, at least I've rekindled my love of running and exercising in general. Running was originally a means of shedding pounds, but now it's a passion nearly on par with my love of music. I'm planning on running two half marathons this year, I want to be able to run 20 miles straight by the end of the year, and next year I'd like to run a marathon. After that, who knows?

I just love food! While I don't have to be as restrictive now as I was when I was in weight loss mode, I still have to be vigilant. The adjustments in my eating will take some experimentation, but I'm confident I'll find the right balance.